In an online piece that turned up yesterday in the Real Deal, a clutch (flock, bevy, herd?) of brokers related some horror stories from open houses, among them:
- “How about a five-year old breast feeding?”
- “A half-naked, sleeping couple.”
- “When the listing broker invited my client and myself into an open house, showed us around the apartment and when we go to the master bedroom, the seller and his girlfriend were in bed — awake [and] reading the paper [with] no clothes on.”
Such accounts are demonstrably livelier than mine, which concerns an experience I had a few years ago when I was showing a buyer of mine a one-bedroom condo in Washington, D.C., where I sold real estate before moving back “home” to Manhattan.
I got the apartment key from the concierge (common practice there) and went up to the unit. Opening the door, I shouted our presence and couldn’t quite shake a feeling that the place wasn’t empty.
Spying an open purse on a table near the entrance, I announced our presence two more times, shrugged and went inside. We toured the living room and kitchen and went down a hallway to the master bedroom.
There we saw on the bed a massive motionless body lying on its side and facing away from us.
My buyer, a seasoned dentist who obviously had undergone extensive medical training, turned tail and fled, However shocked I was, I just walked out and then hurried to catch up with my white-faced buyer.
Yes, I did eventually sell him an apartment, but I never found out whether the body was dead or alive.
I think he lives in California now.
Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker
Senior Vice President
Charles Rutenberg Realty
127 E. 56th Street
New York, NY 10022